Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Honoring Lives Lived Well

   I was sitting quietly on Memorial Day thinking about friends I have made over four decades who leave home to serve our country. Service in our military is a sacrifice, and exposes the men and women of our nation's Army, Air Force, Marines, Navy, and Coast Guard, to risks that include death. I was thinking, too, about the families they left behind every time they deployed. Millions of times families have stood at airports, on bases, or on front porches and watched their precious person pass around the corner, not knowing the next time they'd see them.
   It is humbling to think about such devotion to our country, a nation built on a little phrase that Jefferson penned three centuries ago...

We hold these truths to be sacred & undeniable; that all men are created equal & independent, that from that equal creation they derive rights inherent & inalienable, among which are the preservation of life, & liberty, & the pursuit of happiness; ...

I am thankful for every person who has given life and limb to uphold these truths.

   Epworth is also a place where people have given themselves to service over self. Including the story of the Hamp Stevens UMC, this congregation has been shaped for decades by the generosity of men and women who have lived out their lives as faithful followers of Jesus Christ through ministry here.
   The Tree of Life Memorial, displayed for the first time this past weekend, gives people an opportunity to remember and honor those who have gone on before us but whose lives remain an important part of who we are. Initiated by the Friendship Class, the idea, from its very start, has been carried through to completion by Marjean and James Waters. The design was beautifully created by Buddy Dunn, and the woodworking itself was created by Archie Smith, whose ties to these congregations run deep. We are indebted to all of these for offering us such an opportunity to celebrate our loved ones.
   You can honor any loved one, who was a member of either of these two congregations, with a donation in their memory to Epworth UMC. Call the church office, visit our website, or find an insert in the bulletin.
   Grace and Peace, Scott

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Moving: Between Fear in rejection and Faith that God loves us

   “Many voices ask for our attention. There is a voice that says, ‘Prove that you are a good person.’ Another voice says, ‘You’d better be ashamed of yourself.’ There also is a voice that says, ‘Nobody really cares about you,’ and one that says, ‘Be sure to become successful, popular, and powerful.’ But underneath all these often very noisy voices is a still, small voice that says, ‘You are my Beloved, my favor rests on you.’ That’s the voice we need most of all to hear. To hear that voice, however, requires special effort; it requires solitude, silence, and a strong determination to listen.
   That’s what prayer is. It is listening to the voice that calls us ‘my Beloved.'”
    - Henri Nouwen

   This passage is from Henri Nouwen's The Still, Small Voice of Love.  Lately, I have been reading a lot of Nouwen, in part, for my final 120-page project at Columbia, which first requires that I read 12-15 books on the subject I am studying. But more than just something required from the exterior, I find that I am drawn to Nouwen from some interior prompting. I need to hear his message that I am God's Beloved, now, more than ever.
   Moving is hard. Moving from a place that you love so dearly, is very hard. With just a couple of weeks before the last box is headed east on Highway 96, the thought of leaving Epworth, our friends, this home, and the myriad of familiar places around town is looming larger. When June comes, the task is made only more difficult; in the midst of grieving, we are also going. We are going to a new place, with new people, and new expectations.
   As is my nature - human and frail - the thought of what to expect has turned into what to fear in the weeks since our move was set. Of course, fear is the opposite of faith. I also think it is rooted in a poor sense of identity. Let me explain. When I allow fear to dictate my thoughts about the future - what people will think, or do, or say - because I want to be liked, or admired, or relied upon, then I am turning away from my true identity and, instead, leaning on other's opinions of me to be the foundation for who I am.
   As Houwen writes so eloquently above, God speaks the truth to me in a still, small voice. It is the voice of love. I am God's Beloved. Not because I am right, or smart, or dependable, but because I am God's. The other characteristics come and go, but God's love for me remains.
   Pray for the Hagans in the transition. Pray that we don't stray far from this true sense of who and whose we are. And, pray for the Crosbys, as well. They are surely leaving Alma to arrive at Epworth with some of the very same emotions. I know that when they do arrive, they will be welcomed by a congregation who believes we are all God's Beloved.
   Grace and Peace, Scott

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

There is Crying in Worship

   In A League of Their Own, a movie released in 1992, Tom Hanks played a washed-up, former baseball player turned manager of the all-women’s baseball league formed during the Second World War when the men were overseas in combat. His character, named Jimmy Dugan, struggles with alcoholism, anger, and being nice. At one point in the story, he yells at one of his players,

Jimmy Dugan: “Are you crying? Are you crying? Are you crying? There’s no crying! There’s no crying in baseball!”

I will not speak to that, having seen plenty of crying in little league, but the quote came to my mind on Sunday morning during worship. On more than one occasion my gaze rested on another set of teary eyes out in the pews. During one of the songs, I reflected on how appropriate it is to cry in worship.
   The Mother’s Day inserts, especially the two pages dedicated to Memorials, were filled with names of our cherished loved ones. Names of those who’ve passed in the past year especially brought emotions, as we remembered their physical presence among us just a short time ago and then the UMW recognition of Jean and Matilda, both gone too soon. I believe that worship, and the congregation of the faithful, is exactly where tears should be found. I believe there is supposed to be crying in worship. I think the Bible upholds this, too. Of course, we know Jesus wept at the death of his friend, Lazarus, but there are promises about God’s response to our mourning, too.  

Psalm 34:17 - When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues 
                       them from all their troubles.
Psalm 3:4 - I cry aloud to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy hill.

   I am not suggesting that we should cry every week, but it is okay to cry. It is probably necessary, sometimes. Life is hard. It is hard to lose someone we care about. Loss is hard. We also come to learn that gaining something is hard, as well. The ups and downs of life, the blessings and curses, all of it calls for vulnerability, submission, and faith in God’s ultimate goodness for us. Life is heavenly and hard, and worship is a place where these truths are proclaimed. 
   Later in the movie, having grown some himself, Tom Hanks’ character offers this wisdom to one of the girls who is thinking about quitting: “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great.” Grace and Peace, Scott

Thursday, May 7, 2015

4000 Questions

   The first email that Tony sent me, after he was announced as the pastor projected to be appointed to Epworth UMC in June, made a reference to a list he'd been making. He said, "Scott, we are so excited about coming to Epworth! I only have about 4,000 questions, but I am trying to pace myself and finish my work here well." I laughed. I knew what he meant; moving is filled with unknowns. In that way, it mirrors life.
   Henri Nouwen, the prolific writer, thinker, and humble priest of the past century actually believed all of us go through life seeking answers to basic questions. It was Sister Chris, the friend I see for spiritual direction through the ministry of the sisters at Blessed Trinity Shrine Retreat, that introduced me to some of Henri Nouwen's lesser-known work. I've since experienced the presence of God through Nouwen's devotional writings. I was touched the other day, with all of the questions of moving and life swirling around in my head and heart, when I came across these lines of Nouwen's:

What is truth? How may I find joy and happiness? What is the right way of living? .... What am I to do with my life? Whom shall I marry? Where shall I live? What gifts do I have to share? What do I do with my loneliness? Why am I so needy for affection, approval, or power? How can I overcome my fears, my shame, my addictions, and my sense of inadequacy or of failure?
 
For Nouwen, these are the very questions we are each seeking answers for in our respective journeys. And, greater than any silly details about how will my material belongings get moved from one place to another, or where will I lay my head on this night or that, these questions transcend every season I might pass through.
   I know we have a few weeks still to go, but I would be remiss if I did not take a moment here to say thank you to every person of Epworth, for helping me along my own journey in finding God's best answers to these questions in my life. These years have been a great blessing to the Hagans who've known Columbus as home.
   In case you are wondering, Tony reported back that after just one phone call with Earl Phillips and one with me, he'd checked 500 questions off his list! I thought that was a productive day for us all. I delight in imagining more of the great days ahead for this congregation and all those who serve her and are served by her. To God be the Glory.
   Grace and Peace to you, Scott